The “not on my bucket list” list

(Note: Apparently this needs a warning to not read before going to sleep. This is particularly true if your dreams are easily influenced.)

There are many things that I’d really like to do at some point in my life and are on what some call a “bucket list”, these include going to Ireland and Australia, skydiving, and many other things. However, there are also some things that are on my “anti bucket list”… things that I am happy to NEVER do.

  1. Go on the Grand Canyon Skywalk. The older I get, the more I seem to be afraid of heights. I can still climb a tree and be happy and feel safe… but having little foundation under my feet, or the illusion thereof, scares me to no end.
  2. Being near (you know, within running or swimming distance) a wild alligator or crocodile, or anything in the order crocodylia, seeking them out, or otherwise touching them, particularly if their mouths aren’t taped shut… even then… I’m good. Thanks.
  3. Being in a pit of snakes, rats, or other such vermin…

    Raiders of the Lost Ark – Indiana Jones – “Snakes?! I hate snakes!”

    I just shuddered even typing it.

  4. Being trapped in a house of cats where there is carpet and/or kitty litter that needs to be changed. I value breathing and seeing too much. Can you say allergies? Well, in that case, let’s just add being bit by fire ants, or any allergic reaction to food.
  5. Eating brain, eyes, or liver. Random? Perhaps? Tasty? I’ll have to take your word for it. Sneak it in without me knowing and then tell me? Be prepared to have a mess all over you.
  6. Being stuck on a deserted island for more than two days without the likelihood of rescue. I figure I can handle two days and survive without too much issue, yet after that, I think that I’d either go mad or be so damn hangry (hungry and angry – term introduced to me compliments of my friend Chase) that I’d drive myself insane or have such a splitting headache that I’d rather be out of my misery. I like food too much.
  7. Watching a full NASCAR race. I’ll watch drag races and will even watch Formula racing, or other such races… cars driving in circles… I’ll stick to the highlights if anything at all.
  8. A slow and/or painful death. Seems like a self-explanatory line of reasoning here.
  9. Losing my hearing… music is far too important to me.
  10. Living so long that all the people I care about have died before I did, including any potential children. I could never be a Highlander.
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